


Road Trip

by AnnieVH



Series: Queens of Darkness Sitcom AU [4]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Gen, Road Trip, Rumbelle - Freeform, Stephen King - Freeform, mad rumbelle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-30 01:20:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3917896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieVH/pseuds/AnnieVH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Malcolm is stuck in a car with a Paparazzi and little Ms. French. Could this trip get any worse? A direct sequence to Adulation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Road Trip

**Author's Note:**

> Verse: Queens of Darkness Sitcom AU, where Mr. Gold is forced to move in with his sister Ella.
> 
> Beta: maddiebonanafana as always. Thank you, Maddie!

Jefferson was a Paparazzi. That word alone was enough to make Malcolm’s blood curl, and the man that accompanied it only made everything worse. A flamboyant thirty-something wearing a vest and trousers, but no jacket (Malcolm felt an unpleasant shudder go through his body), Jefferson met them at the car with a big friendly smile and two suitcases of heavy equipment.

“Will you need all of this?” Malcolm asked, watching him push everything into the trunk with Belle’s help.

“You never know what the occasion will call for,” Jefferson said, looking hot from the physical effort and looking way too happy for someone who was being rallied up for a last minute nine hour trip to nowhere. He snapped the scarf from around his neck with too many unnecessary flourishes, but somehow managed to look effortlessly cool. “Will I need head shots? Will I need the night vision? You never know.”

“Jefferson is the best Paparazzi in New York,” Ella told him, very satisfied with that information.

“I also know great car games,” Jefferson added. “I’m great company for road trips.”

“Not if you like car games,” Malcolm grumbled.

“My little big brother is Mr. Grumpy Pants, Jeff,” Ella said. “You’ll be better off with your iPod.”

“Will do. How about you, Belle?”

Belle grabbed a purse that was as big as her and said, “I’ve got some great selections here. _Anna Karenina, Dark Tower I, II_  and  _III_ , some books from promising new writers, and if we need a pick me up,  _The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy._ ”

Jefferson’s smile froze on his face. “Great. I’m so glad I have my iPod.”

Belle stuck out her tongue at him, making him chuckle. She turned to Malcolm. “Would you like to choose a book, Mr. Gold? I can read it out loud.”

“She does the voices, and everything,” Ella said, with mock excitement.

Malcolm rolled his eyes. “The only sound I want to hear for the next nine hours is  _silence_. Would that be possible?”

“Sure. When would you like me to take the wheel?”

He looked at Belle as if she were crazy. “Take the wheel? I don’t think so. The only one who drives my car,” he pointed at his chest, “is  _me_.”

“Oh, goodie,” Jefferson said. “A nine hour trip with a sleepy driver that will likely result in my death. Thanks, Ella.”

“I owe you one, darling,” Ella promised.

Jefferson eyed the Cadillac. “She  _is_  a beauty, though.”

Malcolm nodded, a little too proudly. “Thank you.”

Jefferson frowned. “Why don’t you have a handicap sticker?”

“And off you go!” Ella said, hurrying them into the car, before her brother decided to smash his cane against Jefferson’s skull to show him exactly how handicapped he wasn’t.

Wouldn’t be the first time.

*

The Paparazzi sat in the back, slumped against a window and dozing off to sleep as soon as they were out of the city. His earplugs were loud enough for Malcolm to pick up the soft thumpa-thumpa of blasting electronic music, but not enough to drive him crazy. Belle had taken the seat by his side and immersed herself in  _Anna Karenina_  without making an attempt to chit-chat, having learned better that morning.

And Malcolm was left to face the traffic jam by himself. At first he thought it wouldn’t be that bad. After one week dealing with Ella and her minions, a few hours of peace and quiet inside his own car seemed to be ideal. But within two hours of slow progress, the stillness of the flow started making him restless and the absence of even the sound of the tires on the asphalt was giving his mind the freedom to wander and ask question he didn’t want to answer right now.

After all, Milah was still in Storybrooke. Would she even bother to see him if he tried? She didn’t want to pick up the phone and talk to him, but if he rang the doorbell unexpectedly, she’d have no choice but to open the door. From there, he’d only have to convince her to talk about this terrible idea that was a divorce.

“You can turn on the radio,” Belle said, without taking her eyes from the book.

“What?” Malcolm asked, taken aback by the unexpected contribution that took him away from those dangerous thoughts, such as “begging for forgiveness” and “being ready to let her have her way”.

“I said you can turn on the radio,” she repeated. “It won’t bother me. I can read through a nuclear attack.”

Malcolm produced a “hunf” with the back of his throat, but it came out more amused than disdainful. “You must be a blast to have at trenches.”

To his surprise, Belle started giggling and raised her eyes from her book, just to give him a little shake of the head, as if saying, “Oh, you funny man, you!”

When they fell back into silence, it weigh on him even heavier than before.

“Why would I need the radio?” he asked, careful to keep his tone unfriendly, but polite, as to let her know this was not an invitation for a long conversation.

“You’re fidgeting,” she offered, her nose back in her book.

“I’m not fidgeting,” he argued.

“Alright,” she settled.

And back to silence.

Malcolm sighed, defeated. “What books do you have again?”

Her eyes sparkled. “ _Anna Karenina,_ the first three volumes of _Dark Tower_ , some very interesting looking murder mysteries, and  _The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy_.”

“Just pick the shortest one.”

She seemed to debate over two particular titles, but decided for a black cover book with Stephen King’s name in big white letters.

Malcolm sighed, half bored, half relieved. “Stephen King is good.”

“Isn’t he?” Belle replied, growing excited. “Have you read  _Desperation_? It is  _beautiful_! Oh, and  _Pet Semetary_? I couldn’t sleep for weeks! I had to give my cat away because that book-” She noticed the look he was giving her. She nodded, resigned. “More reading and less friendliness.”

“Yup.”

“You’re lucky I like reading out loud, Mr. Gold.”

Malcolm chuckled to himself. “You do look like someone who enjoys the sound of her own voice, Ms. French.”

**Author's Note:**

> Picspam: http://annievh.tumblr.com/post/109471145402/queens-of-darkness-sitcom-au-malcolm-gold
> 
> Still taking prompts for this verse.


End file.
